6 Weeks til Race Day!

Here we are, 6 weeks until my spring half. I should be more excited or maybe even exhausted. And while I am a little of both, it's just not how I feel like I should be feeling. About 3 weeks ago I wrote about being halfway to race day. And I was honest about being inconsistent. Well, the last 3 weeks have not been much better. I have been trying but my willpower is weak. It was so much easier in the fall when I had a roll that I was trying not to break. So some mental reorganization is happening. This race was always meant to be about the experience. I love Harper's Ferry and the course is through some beautiful terrain/geography. I prepared to train for a faster time goal than my current PR. But, I have always known that was not a possibility with the course elevation, it was just to give me some guidelines for my training. Yes, I know, broken record. And I do feel stronger than I have i\historically when I am under prepared for a race. My brain just can't turn off the bullying. It digs up images of some of my hardest moments in races and puts them on display for me when I am at my most vulnerable. And I know the counter to this is to be more consistent. I am just having trouble fighting the life circumstances. I am trying to learn a lesson in all of this. I think I have learned that I cannot use an aggressive training plan as an outline when I am not planning to train aggressively for a race. I am just too "type A" for that. When I have a checklist in front of me, I just have to check all the boxes, or feel eternally guilty for not doing so. Lesson most definitely learned! So in the remaining weeks, I will try to make sure I get in training runs and try to continue mixing in speed work. And I am going to need to come up with a realistic race plan. Just need to assess where my level of fitness is and how that will translate to this difficult course. It will be here before I know it!